You know what I need.

by paulpaino

Just thinking about this post invokes a lot of emotion.

Typically I like to give a bit of background to my posts to let you know where I’m coming from, events leading up till now, moments of inspiration that have sparked these thoughts, but not tonight. Not because I’m lazy or just don’t want to tell you, fact of the matter is that I have no idea where this is coming from. So there you have it.

I made $16 today. Those who have found their way to my blog probably know that I work as a waiter at Acme Bar & Grill – Where Neighbors Meet. It’s nice. I like interacting with people all day, and I enjoy the people I work with – they always come in with crazy stories such as Heather, a 40 year old waitress, taking English classes at Ivy Tech and her stressful endeavor of writing a three page paper. I laughed at her today about that, but it’s okay because she knows that it sounds silly. Typically I make pretty decent money considering the minimal hours I work. Any given night, after working the dinner crowd, I can manage close to $60 in my pocket from tips. Today, however, I left Acme post-lunch with $16. I need a new job.

I can remember as a kid sitting in the rear left riser at Calvary Temple with my Aunt Tammy, fresh out of Sunday School and desperately not wanting to sit through another service. I was hungry, and more important things were in my agenda, such as playing Power Rangers on my Super Nintendo. But I remember the hymns. I remember standing in a room with 1,500 other people singing hymns, and it was awesome. Nowadays hymns are hard to come by. That is unless you go to a “traditional” service at a church that has more than one service. But that might require waking up very early, and sitting amongst people over twice your age, and I could never ask you to do such a thing. I’ve sat in quite a few meetings in recent years discussing the ways to make church services more effective, more relevant, and the answers many of those meetings have produced is simply this: we need newer, better music.

I’m not a huge shopper, mostly because I don’t have money to shop with, but I strolled into the mall two weeks ago after a long drought of not buying clothes or anything of the sort. After making my usual rounds of the stores I typically buy stuff from, I stumbled upon this coat. Now, let me inform you that I have a lot of coats. Leather coats, synthetic coats, coats for skiing, coats for looking cool but leave you freezing your butt off, take my word for it I have a lot of coats. But this coat was different. I don’t have a coat like this. It was gray and made of wool. The double breasted front added a sense of class and style, and the massive collar reminded me we’re definitely in 2010. Pop that collar! Standing there in H&M, looking at just another gray coat, I decided I needed that jacket. (Don’t worry, I talked myself out of it.)

My point is this: we all think that we have a pretty good idea of what we need. But we have no idea. Thankfully, someone does, and no it’s not your parents. (Sorry mom, I still know that you know best, no worries). The question this raises with me is where along the line, after all of our mistakes and screw ups – bad decisions and repeatedly getting hurt, did we decide we could figure out what we needed?

I need a new job? No, I’m there for a reason, and I’m getting by. There are still people for me to show love to, and they need to be shown love.

We need new music? No way. Sure staying relevant holds some weight with me, but being real holds much, much more. Quit trying to be someone you’re not by covering our church services in style and “hipness” and be genuine.

I need new stuff? What I need is to learn to be content, and to find myself blessed and grateful. Jesus implied the concept of giving everything you have to the poor. I wonder what that would look like if we took Him seriously. I need new stuff? No, I have a closet I need to clean out.

The bottom line is this: Jesus knows what we need so much better than we could ever hope to. Jon Foreman makes good music, and puts this idea into words quite well with his song Your Love is Strong (<– clicky)

He knows what I need. And you too.

Examining,

Paul.

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